“I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.”
Disclaimer: This is not a personal account of my life to date, but a compilation of many conversations with parents behind closed doors.
Political correctness. It’s what this country has ingrained in us. It’s what we can or can’t say on social media, in a text, an email or to someone’s face because it’s not “socially acceptable” or in fear of ticking someone off. Our tone can be misconstrued, our intent can be misread, and so many times we let things go in fear of the backlash.
We have all faced our set of challenges along this parenthood highway. We’ve met people in all facets of our life that we really wish we could speak our mind to but didn’t. We’ve bit our tongue countless times and let it sit on the back burner where we brewed about it for days. In a perfect world, people would take criticism well, advice to heart and suggestions would be appreciated. Before reading further, know that I do believe MOST people are good in this world, but this is for all the parents who shut their mouths when they really wanted to say…
HEY PARENT: Your kid is a jerk and you have no idea. And if you do, shame on you. You have no clue the damage they have done to my child. And by the way, you are a jerk just like your kid. I’m tired of you acting like you are interested in what I’m saying until someone else comes along that’s more important, has more money, throws better parties or can do something for you that I can’t. Too bad, just like your child, you lost out on a great friend.
HEY TEACHER: I know you are just a person like the rest of us and have good and bad days, but please don’t take it out on my child. You are with them 75% of their day. They look up to you, admire you and even on their worst days might be desperately seeking to gain your approval or encouragement because they might not get enough at home. Listen to my kid when they come to you with a problem and help them if they have the courage to approach you. Build them up, especially if you know they struggle.
HEY COACH: I won’t suck up to you like everyone else. I won’t drink beers with you and get close to your family to benefit my child because one of these days my child will have to prove themselves without your help. And they will flourish. Please treat all your players equally, and for God’s sake, be a good role model. Encourage, inspire and motivate. Not by yelling, demeaning or punishing my child. Remember positive words go a long way on and off the field. Stop the mind games and watch my child soar.
HEY FRIEND: Stop judging me for the decisions I make. You have no idea what’s going on inside the walls of my life. I am doing the best I can but you might not know I’m in the middle of a health scare, having marital problems, dealing with a severely depressed child who’s struggling with an addiction, or at risk of losing my job. People don’t post this stuff on Facebook so you might not be aware of what I’m going through. Be supportive, be kind and ask me to meet you for coffee. (PSA: Before my friends start texting me to meet at Starbucks, no I’m not going through any of this right now but thanks for thinking of me. Remember it’s a blog.)
HEY HUSBAND: Don’t tell me I look “FINE” ever! Always tell me I’m beautiful and love me more every day. Understand that I’m really tired at 10pm, physically, mentally and emotionally. Don’t try to talk to me on the phone about finances when I’m checking out at Costco. Throw a load of laundry in the washer if you see it piling up and once in a while surprise me with dinner on the table when I get home from a long day. Better yet, hire a sitter and plan a date night mid-week. But mostly, just be there for me, being a mom is hard and is seriously underrated on the job index.
Life is too short not to speak your mind. Life is also too short not to share our experiences with others, the good AND the bad. There is always a way to soften your words to get your point across, but never apologize for your feelings, especially when it comes to your happiness or the well-being of those you love.
HEY READER: Have a good day, you’re awesome. 🙂