Monthly Archives: April 2014

FRUSTRATED SUCCESSES

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Frustration = Success

Frustration, although quite painful at times,

is a very positive and essential part of success.

~Bo Bennett

Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success.

Bo Bennett

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/bobennett167499.html#6dVBwsI1uGPqmlFS.99

Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success.

Bo Bennett

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/bobennett167499.html#6dVBwsI1uGPqmlFS.99

One of the most difficult things I find about parenting is how to comfort and encourage my children when they are frustrated. In the beginning I learned to soothe a colicky infant with long walks or car rides, later calming a screaming toddler by the art of distraction and a bag of M&M’s. As the kids grew older I got really good at (white) lying through my teeth to an unsuspecting five year-old or promising ice cream to make it “all better”. I even got pretty good at convincing the 10 year-old, with positive words and trusting eyes that everything was going to be ok when I knew in my heart it really wouldn’t.

Those tactics and all the parental negotiating tools I developed over the years pretty much went out the window recently. No longer can I convince my children to look at the glass half-full all the time or jump through that new door when the old one they had their heart set on, closed. I often find myself struggling for the right words, or rather the right words at the exact right time to help my frustrated children through the challenges and obstacles of growing up.

But just as we all get frustrated at times, we also learn as we grow up to accept those frustrations and push through coming out a better person on the other side. Or we wallow in our misery and let the sadness engulf our life, each and every minute of every day. I know I’ve been on both ends of that spectrum. I remember vividly the pain and anguish I felt as a young child, teen and young adult when I was faced with struggles or stressful situations I didn’t know how to control. It wasn’t until much later in life I realized these painful times were in fact molding me into the adult woman I have become.

Heart breaks, friendships lost or forgotten, a parent’s divorce, failed interviews or college acceptance letters, a family suicide…all moments in my life that caused great frustration and sadness, anger and disappointment. But looking back, it’s how I reacted to each situation that created the person I am today. We all have regrets, we all wish we could change something at some point in our lives, and it’s ignorant to think my kids won’t make the same mistakes and poor choices along the way. But one thing I do tell them is that they have a choice with every roadblock in their life. It is not possible to ignore or wish away these stumbling blocks but it is our job to choose how we are going to react to each struggle. And it is with that choice that will define the person they will become.

As parents, we can only do so much. But I do hope my kids choose frustrated successes over frustrated failures.

 

 

 

 

 

 

MAKING MEMORIES COUNT

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Make a memory with your children,

Spend some time to show you care;

Toys and trinkets can’t replace those

Precious moments that you share.

~Elaine Hardt

Each year we travel to a special little place in Florida called Anna Maria Island. Sometimes a few times a year. Growing up in Florida our family hit about every beach but it wasn’t until I was older that I discovered the beauty and peacefulness of AMI.

I’m not sure if AMI is so wonderful because of the memories we’ve created there or because it’s just a cute island set away from the touristy beaches that lie just a few miles south. Either way it seems like every time we leave the island we count the days until we return.

Part of it might be the fact that as our kids get older they don’t have much down time and a week at AMI lets them just be kids. It is also some of the only times all five of us are together for any length of time. I struggle with this a lot. All three kids play competitive travel soccer. Most holiday weekends we spend at tournaments and regular weekends we are often split between three field locations and multiple games. Some in town, some not. And any energy we have at the end of those days goes into keeping up with the house, organizing our life to deal with the logistics for the next week and prepping for upcoming schoolwork and tests.

Don’t get me wrong. I love watching my kids play. And I love that they truly enjoy the game. All three absolutely love their sport and would play more if we let them. But as a mom, our life moves faster and the kids are growing quicker than I ever imagined. We only have our daughter for 4 more years before she’s in college. The thought of the five of us not being together makes me sick to my stomach. And so I took it upon myself a few years ago to make the most out of every vacation and make those memories count.

So…we buy lots of junk food for our trip, have ice cream for breakfast and watch the sunrise on the beach in our pajamas, possibly while eating leftover cold pizza and a mimosa. We hire a captain to take us on a boat for a day to see the beautiful waters and marine life of Florida’s gulf coast. We pack a picnic lunch, jump out to collect sand dollars and net on sand bars for sea urchins. We watch as dolphins swim within feet of us frolicking in the water. We paddle board and kayak through mangroves and bike to the pier to fish and chase seagulls. We stay on the beach until the sun sets and snuggle up in bed to watch movies until way after all of our bedtime, falling asleep in our bathing suits and saltwater hair. We bring a volleyball, paddle tennis, frisbees, footballs and kites. And still yet someone always sneaks in a few soccer balls. But we play and we laugh and we forget about our hectic life and the crazy routine we’ll see much too soon.

It might not be much, but AMI is our little piece of paradise. Not because of the gorgeous sunsets, white sand beaches or crystal blue water…but because paradise is where my family is and those are the memories that count.